There is no one right way

Thinking today about homeschooling and really ‘feeling’ that there is no one right way. Each child is different. Each parent and family culture is different. There is no need for a one size fits all.

Finding what ‘works’ for one child may take time, but you have that time. Finding what works for a parent who is very organised and needs structure will look different to a parent who needs spontaneity and space. But that is the gift of homeschooling, you can tailor it to suit your child, your family and yourself.

That is also the curse of homeschooling when you first begin. What could that look like? The options are overwhelming. We turn back to a school model. We turn to more experienced homeschoolers, we turn to curriculums and distance education. And along the way, we find our own way that works for us with some or none of those things. Just like any other part of our life, if a part stops working we change it. If we have a season of change we make room by letting something go and choosing later to pick it up again or move on.

I hope you feel it too - there is no one right way. Celebrate the uniqueness of you, your children and your path. xx

Screen Detox

Honestly, the biggest challenge I have faced as a parent, a homeschooler and an unschooler is that of 'screen time'. By which I mean iPad, iPhone, tv (Netflix and Foxtel) and PlayStation. I fell in love with the philosophy of unschooling - leaving the school model behind, following my children's interests and acting as a facilitator in their learning journey. Despite the issues practising unschooling gives rise to when meeting the reporting requirements of the Queensland Home Education Unit, I can see my children learning and retaining information about the topics they are interested in with joy. I see that they don't need to be forced to learn - unless you need to prove that they are in line with state curriculum requirements for maths and English - as my children don't voluntarily produce drafts and good copies using Blooms taxonomy each time they complete a science experiment or write a five paragraph essay on Ancient Egypt. They are full of questions and curiosity though. They do teach themselves so, so much. 

We have also adopted a more peaceful style of parenting since we began this journey. Deschooling together, questioning accepted parenting practices, supporting our children's autonomy as much as we can - but still making them brush their teeth! But the notion of unregulated screen time that seems part and parcel of unschooling has been a sticking point for me. I put it down to fear, further deschooling. I thought perhaps it is because I generally don't watch tv, I don't play the Playstation and I am more likely to be found with a book, a creative project or in the garden. 

I fell in line with the idea that children who aren't denied access to screens will eventually self regulate. Like a bowl of lollies that is always on the table, the children will know they are always there and will take them as they want them, rather than binging on the whole bowl. I read arguments for allowing children the autonomy to self-regulate, even if their self-regulation didn't look like what you hoped it would. Allowing them to stay up until two am and wake up at 10 am. I also read articles about addiction, eye strain, brain wiring and radiation. Get them off the screens and outside!

We've experimented with all sorts of things in the year and a half since we left school behind. Unlimited screen time, no screen time until after lunch, half an hour of screen time on weekdays, more liberal allowances on the weekends, screen time first thing in the morning. And honestly, it hasn't worked. There is no one size fits all for all families. My children are currently 10, 6 and 4. Each navigates screen time differently. My daughter is different from my sons. But each of them exhibited the same behaviours that made a month-long screen detox a viable answer for now.

When screen time wasn't until after lunch they nagged, 'Is it lunch time yet?' We would be out with friends and they would keep asking, 'Are we going home yet?' in order to go back to their devices. Like a game of musical chairs, they went from one device to the next, forgetting to eat, go to the bathroom, choosing not to go out when invited, talking and dreaming about very little else. I kept striving for balance. I kept inviting them to do things I thought they would enjoy. I brought them food. I reminded them to take bathroom breaks. I sent them outside to play with their eyes surely needed to focus on something a little further from their face. I umpired their quarrels over whose turn it was on the device. And I watched as their interests dwindled, their attitudes worsened and the harmony in our family dissipated. 

So here we are, day one of a one-month screen detox. My husband and I are both on board. Already the children have been playing Lego, playing with friends, running around in the back yard and spending more time with me. They have also had quite a few meltdowns today. Time will tell whether we extend the detox period, or how we find the balance in our lives. The unschooliest unschoolers will no doubt disagree with my conclusions.  But I have no mind to stick to dogmas that don't work for my family.

Do you have the same struggles with screen time? Do your children self regulate, or do you need to be the gatekeeper too? Do you believe screens are not as bad as people say, or something to remain wary of for developing brains?

Falling back in love with my camera

I much prefer cardigan weather. Queensland Summer's are long, hot and humid. The scarce rain leaves our grass brown and crisp. The chickens burry themselves in the sandy shade, beaks ajar. I don't sleep well in Summer. There is no comfort to be found in a fan and a sheet. Not like a blanket weighing you down in slumber. I am already quite over Summer, though it stretches out in front of us until probably Easter.

Trapped by the suns rays, we have been spending the heat of the day inside. One advantage is that I am finding more time to pursue my interests as the children pursue theirs. I've fallen back in love with photography and have been indulging in time spent in our air-conditioned lounge room with a pile of photography books from the library, and YouTube and Creative Live clips on my iPad. Something seems to have really 'clicked' during this process. A level of fear I had about my skills seems rather silly now. Instead, I'm embracing the process of experimentation and continual learning and enjoying it.

I brought a new lens for my Cannon 1100D, a 50mm, which has further inspired me to bring my camera along on our sweaty Summer jaunts or look for new ways to capture the children at home. I've discovered Lightroom and ColorMade presets and am having a lovely time playing with them too. As such I do believe I shall be sharing more photographs and rambling tales on the blog once again. xx

Making Christmas

1. Oven dried orange and clove slices, 2. Kuber store plaster pine cone decorations, 3. Handmade beeswax dipped candles, 4. Shelfie, 5. Birds nest and egg shells, 6. Pomander, 7. Hanging orange slices

The older I get the more I struggle with Christmas shopping. The idea of buying unwanted stuff for the people I love in order to show love and share joy at Christmas feels heavy. When I see novelty gifts and Christmas themed everything I can’t help but see landfill. Instead, I take great pains to shop with local stores and makers, buy books, clothes and other necessities, buy toys that will last, and handmake as many gifts and decorations as I can. 

I have been focusing on a handmade Christmas for the last few years. I really appreciate keeping it simple - sticking with a few traditions that aren't overwhelming, leaving time for family and making considered purchases. I discovered the 'something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read' gift mantra for children when my firstborn was a baby and have followed it ever since. I handmake gifts for family and friends, shop at beautiful stores like Biome, and bottles of wine are a trusty go-to gift. When family members ask for gift suggestions we include experiences first, like family passes to a zoo or museum.

I admit I used to go overboard with decorations, adding more tinsel, glitter and baubles every year. This year it felt good to bring out a few treasured items and then make ornaments with the children instead - like the aluminium embossed decorations, and the orange and clove slices above. I brought beeswax off a friend who keeps bees and made wax dipped candles as gifts for my Mama friends. The children made orange and clove pomanders as teacher gifts. We will decorate brown paper as gift wrap that can go straight into the recycling once its job is done. We plan to make our own bonbons too, using recycled cardboard tubes and replacing the plastic novelties and jokes that get cleared away with the mess at the end of the day with chocolate and quotes.

I like how this kind of gift giving and making feels.

Taking Stock : November

It's day two in bed with laryngitis. Yesterday I read until I fell asleep, over and over again. I could barely keep my eyes open for more than an hour, I just felt so drained. I'm feeling better today, but still taking it easy and reacquainting myself with my laptop. There have been so many good things happening of late, I thought a taking stock post was in order. 

Making: Embossed metal Christmas decorations
Creating: a beautiful engagement ring
Drinking: 'Brisbane Breakfast' T2 Tea - a birthday gift
Listening: Brave Writer with Julie Bogart podcast
Reading: 'It's OK to go up the slide', 'Teach Me To Do It Myself', 'The Bright Stuff', 'You Can Teach Your Child Successfully', 'Homeschooling for success', 'Bring Out the Genius in your Child', 'Trust the Children' 

Finished read aloud: The Children of Cherry Tree Farm, Enid Blyton

Next read aloud: The Children of Willow Farm, Enid Blyton Finished 

Visiting: the Qld Museum to see the Monkeys
Walking: through the Haig Street Quarry in Ipswich
Playing: with homemade playdough (even though I had no cream of tartar)

Growing: borax crystal geodes
Swimming: in natural rock pools at Cedar Creek Falls
Enjoying: a day spent fossicking for thundereggs with friends
Cracking: open geodes
Liking: my archery date with my nine-year-old
Wondering: at the amazing world of insects Michelle from Bugs Ed shared with us
Noticing: the confidence horse riding has brought out of my daughter
Pondering: white and wooden Christmas decorations
Buying: gem specimens for my children's' gemstone collections
Watching: The Detectorists
Painting: butterflies but making slow progress with so much else happening
Marvelling: at the chicks that our broody hen hatched from fertilised eggs
Celebrating: My 37th birthday with a date night with my husband
Coveting: new glasses
Loving: the Mulberry Planner journal that I brought for next year, but have already started using
Finding: a nice rhythm to our homeschooling in our second year
Wearing: bigger, bolder earrings than usual
Following: my children's interests 

Keeping: room for my interests 
Noticing: the way learning just shows up as we live our life
Knowing: homeschooling was the best decision for us
Thinking: that my youngest has one more year until he 'starts school', or in our case, needs to be registered to homeschool
Admiring: the APT exhibition at QAGOMA
Sorting: through the whole house in an effort to declutter and rearrange
Getting: rid of as much as possible!
Bookmarking: the new blog I created for our homeschool group
Experimenting: with different liquid densities and making a 'Rainbow Jar'
Giggling: at the silly things four-year-olds say
Feeling: excited about a few nights away in a cabin by the beach
Snacking: on in-season fresh fruit - mangoes, lychees, berries, oh my
Hearing: the peep, peep of our chicks as they free range in our backyard

Waiting: for my sister and her son to come home for Christmas

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Joining in with Pip.

Keeping a Store Cupboard

1. Labelling jars, 2. snoozing cat, 3. unusual nature find, 4. native flowers from the garden, 5. Emmy's growing horse collection.

My kitchen and store cupboard have been benefiting from my renewed energy after our holiday. I'd been feeling rather blah about the whole monotony of grocery shopping and cooking and I was turning to take away and prepackaged food more often than I was comfortable with. The country general store in the small town we stayed in inspired and challenged me with it's fewer number of items, and the higher proportion of organic, homemade and fresh produce. 

Once the holiday bags were unpacked I went to the shop with renewed purpose and brought fresh fish and vegetables for dinner. As I unloaded them I decided to completely empty and sort the pantry too. I wiped it clean, checked used by dates, refilled jars and relabelled them. As we don't have a lot of storage space in our kitchen, we also have a store cupboard in the laundry. Here I stockpile everyday items we use regularly, such as canned goods, rice, oil, toiletries, alfoil and sauces, which I buy whenever they are on sale. It's a trick I learnt from Rhonda at Down to Earth blog. It saves a considerable amount of money over time to purchase the things you use before you need them, while they are on sale, and never run out of anything because you always have a spare in your store cupboard.

When I am building up my store cupboard, each time I pop to the shops to pick up one or two things, I will walk up and down each aisle looking for the sale tags. There are always sale tags, usually 10 - 50% off, or two for the price of one. I don't buy anything I wouldn't usually buy. It's not a bargain if it is just going to sit in the cupboard. I also buy in bulk. So when 5kg of rice or 3L of olive oil is half price I am saving money and stocking up. Then I just decant what I need into recycled jars and bottles and store the rest. Buying when things are on sale means I can buy more expensive items than I would usually purchase too - like choosing Australian made, organic, fair trade.

I've read that many chefs don't have much food in their own fridges, as they buy fresh what they need. I really like this idea. I used to try to just go to the shops once a week because I thought it would save money. But I just ended up with wilted veggies. Now I pop to the shops every day or two, though I still keep meat and veg in the freezer so there are always ingredients to cook with if I can't make it to the shop.

Reinvigorating my pantry and topping up my store cupboard inspires me to cook more from scratch, leave the processed items on the shelf, and make the most of the ingredients I am growing in my garden. All of which gives me a sense of satisfaction to be shopping and cooking in a more positive and sustainable way.

Do you keep a store cupboard? 

Reporting and Planning when Homeschooling

Recently, I submitted my first homeschooling reports for my children to the Home Education Unit in Queensland. This is my legal requirement in order to homeschool. It is legal in Australia to educate at home, but you must prove that you are able to provide a high-quality education. Each year homeschoolers submit a report on the year before with six samples (two for English, two for Maths and two for another subject of your choice) as well as a plan for the coming year. It's a time-consuming process, but a really rewarding one as well. 

I wanted to share some of my report for Emerson here, aged 6, who cried every single morning of Prep (first year of compulsory school in Queensland) and some of her journey since leaving school. For those that are curious and for those that need inspiration, I can honestly advocate for homeschooling and unschooling in particular. 

I also wanted to thank all those home educators that came before me and fought for the rights of parents to find the best ways for their children to learn. And to those from the homeschooling community who have offered me advice and support and those online who spend their time sharing their experiences with others. xx

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In sitting down to write this report I first looked back over the albums I created to document our homeschooling journey and it made my heart sing. I read back through my Natural Learning Journal and I was reminded of so many rich conversations and lightbulbs moments experienced by both Emerson and myself this past twelve months. What a wonderful year of growth, connection and learning it has been. Our move to homeschooling has not only benefited Emerson, but our entire family. We are more connected, our parenting is gentler, our children have more autonomy, more time, and the love and support to experience so many new things and follow those that take their interest.

My goal to have Emerson reading independently by the end of the first year was rather lofty, or so I realised in hindsight. I hadn’t considered that she may shut out anything educational in the months after leaving school and refuse to engage. Any notions that I had about schooling at home in a traditional sense needed to be reconsidered in the wake of her refusal to read or write. Instead, I read widely and deeply on all aspects of homeschooling, education styles and curriculums. I listened to podcasts with educators discussing the way the brain works, and different styles of learning. I embraced the idea of ‘deschooling’ and took away the expectation and structure I had implemented from my own schooling experience and worked hard to find the right path for Emerson. It took a lot of time and trust, but in the end, Emerson decided that the goal to read was her goal, not mine. With this intrinsic motivation, we have been able to work together to help her move closer to achieving this goal.  

I wrote the plan based on a natural learning style and took a child lead approach to Emerson’s learning because I felt this was what she needed. This was difficult for me, as it would have been much easier to have her sit at a table for set times of the week and ‘learn’ what I presented her with, but this method just led to tears for both of us.

At times, when fear overcame me that perhaps I wasn’t doing the right thing and she wasn’t learning I tried introducing more structured elements. This always had the opposite effect than I was hoping for. After a lot of reading, talking, and podcast listening I embraced an unschooling philosophy to meet Emerson’s needs. There were many small steps in letting go which allowed me to recognise how much Emerson was learning by being free to follow her own interests. 

Where to begin with the many highlights?! For Emerson it would probably be the pet quails and puppy we adopted this year, her chicken egg business, her horse riding lessons, the many new friends she has made in the homeschooling groups we frequent. It would be the many excursions we are able to take during the week to art galleries, museums, historical villages, nature walks, farm tours, zoos and library sessions. No doubt the many holidays and camping trips we have taken this year as well too, as a family and with other homeschoolers, to places like Gympie, Yamba, Sydney, Canberra, and Dubbo.

For me, it has been seeing the anxiety slowly melt away from Emerson. Seeing the silences, anger and tears being replaced by a curious, courageous and kind six year old. It is stress-free mornings and bedtime reading rituals where all three children hop in the big bed for stories. It’s surprising them with new craft supplies, books, puzzles, board games and experiments. It’s seeing Emerson’s face light up when she learns something new. It is being there to answer each question and seeing the connections between each rabbit hole she dives into. And it’s the trust, overcoming my fears and trusting in her innate curiosity and knowing that she has the tools and support to learn anything she wants, now and in the future.

Despite not being able to read independently, as I had written in our plan, I still feel Emerson achieved the most success in English this year. In the related areas of reading and writing, she has grown from a child that refused to participate in either activity to one who uses writing daily, enjoys her new reading abilities and is actively engaged in increasing her skill level. 

In print

This delightful magazine arrived on my Australian doorstep all the way from America this week. The first issue of Secular Homeschooler magazine. I had been anticipating its arrival, as it is the first time my words and drawings have been featured in an International print magazine. I couldn't believe it when I opened the cover and my leaf painting was the front page! Emerson and I are both feeling a little bit famous. I love the layout and I can't wait to read the rest of the magazine. Keep an eye out for my quarterly contributions in upcoming issues! 

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Order a print or digital copy of the magazine over here.

Friendship

Spending time at a friend's farm today.

Do you think friendships change as you get older? That the simple friendships of childhood are replaced by the more complicated friendships of adolescence, then the freer friendships of early adulthood are replaced by stronger friendships as a parent? 

I've always felt a little socially awkward. I have often felt like the odd one out. But often that didn't matter, as I had a twin sister who was and still is my best friend. But when she moved to another state it pushed me to make new friends. The most convenient friends were other school mums, until I started homeschooling. While three of those friendships remain strong, the rest have fallen away. And yet, my current friendships offer more than ever before. I've been trying to put my finger on whether it is a result of homeschooling and finding likeminded people? A sign of maturity - that one outgrows toxic relationships and learns how to be a good friend? A sign of contentment - that I am not aiming to prove anything and am happy to have people take me or leave me as I am - that has resulted in me finding a circle of friends that share my values and support me, love me and enjoy spending time with me? Or perhaps a little of all of these?

I have found that the truer I am able to be to myself, the more I am able to just 'be Christina', the more likely I am to find friends who appreciate me for me. 'Of course!' you might be thinking. But as a child, it felt natural to believe that if I changed then people would like me. When in fact, the more I allow myself to follow my passions, the more people seem to relate. 

Which is all to say. I am so grateful for the beautiful friends I have. Some I have had for fifteen years, and some for a year, but all of them are beautiful people whom I adore and love to spend time with.