Honestly, the biggest challenge I have faced as a parent, a homeschooler and an unschooler is that of 'screen time'. By which I mean iPad, iPhone, tv (Netflix and Foxtel) and PlayStation. I fell in love with the philosophy of unschooling - leaving the school model behind, following my children's interests and acting as a facilitator in their learning journey. Despite the issues practising unschooling gives rise to when meeting the reporting requirements of the Queensland Home Education Unit, I can see my children learning and retaining information about the topics they are interested in with joy. I see that they don't need to be forced to learn - unless you need to prove that they are in line with state curriculum requirements for maths and English - as my children don't voluntarily produce drafts and good copies using Blooms taxonomy each time they complete a science experiment or write a five paragraph essay on Ancient Egypt. They are full of questions and curiosity though. They do teach themselves so, so much.
We have also adopted a more peaceful style of parenting since we began this journey. Deschooling together, questioning accepted parenting practices, supporting our children's autonomy as much as we can - but still making them brush their teeth! But the notion of unregulated screen time that seems part and parcel of unschooling has been a sticking point for me. I put it down to fear, further deschooling. I thought perhaps it is because I generally don't watch tv, I don't play the Playstation and I am more likely to be found with a book, a creative project or in the garden.
I fell in line with the idea that children who aren't denied access to screens will eventually self regulate. Like a bowl of lollies that is always on the table, the children will know they are always there and will take them as they want them, rather than binging on the whole bowl. I read arguments for allowing children the autonomy to self-regulate, even if their self-regulation didn't look like what you hoped it would. Allowing them to stay up until two am and wake up at 10 am. I also read articles about addiction, eye strain, brain wiring and radiation. Get them off the screens and outside!
We've experimented with all sorts of things in the year and a half since we left school behind. Unlimited screen time, no screen time until after lunch, half an hour of screen time on weekdays, more liberal allowances on the weekends, screen time first thing in the morning. And honestly, it hasn't worked. There is no one size fits all for all families. My children are currently 10, 6 and 4. Each navigates screen time differently. My daughter is different from my sons. But each of them exhibited the same behaviours that made a month-long screen detox a viable answer for now.
When screen time wasn't until after lunch they nagged, 'Is it lunch time yet?' We would be out with friends and they would keep asking, 'Are we going home yet?' in order to go back to their devices. Like a game of musical chairs, they went from one device to the next, forgetting to eat, go to the bathroom, choosing not to go out when invited, talking and dreaming about very little else. I kept striving for balance. I kept inviting them to do things I thought they would enjoy. I brought them food. I reminded them to take bathroom breaks. I sent them outside to play with their eyes surely needed to focus on something a little further from their face. I umpired their quarrels over whose turn it was on the device. And I watched as their interests dwindled, their attitudes worsened and the harmony in our family dissipated.
So here we are, day one of a one-month screen detox. My husband and I are both on board. Already the children have been playing Lego, playing with friends, running around in the back yard and spending more time with me. They have also had quite a few meltdowns today. Time will tell whether we extend the detox period, or how we find the balance in our lives. The unschooliest unschoolers will no doubt disagree with my conclusions. But I have no mind to stick to dogmas that don't work for my family.
Do you have the same struggles with screen time? Do your children self regulate, or do you need to be the gatekeeper too? Do you believe screens are not as bad as people say, or something to remain wary of for developing brains?
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